Funny Cross Stitch Patterns that are Inappropriate but Fabulous!
DISCLAIMER: These cross stitch patterns are not for the faint of heart. These are not your grandmas patterns. Many contain cuss words and words that might be offensive. If you are easily offended please don’t scroll through the rest of the post. I have a total potty mouth around my closest friends and I keep it under wraps around my kiddos and in my public life but secretly deep down I find these inappropriate funny cross stitch patterns totally fabulous! This is a light hearted and fun post and I am not trying to say anything through the post. If you don’t like it please leave now and don’t scroll down and get all in a huff pretty please! Here is a huge list of subversive cross stitch patterns to keep you entertained!
Cross Stitch Patterns that are Inappropriate but Fabulous!
If I could I would make lots of these and have a wall full of hoops with inappropriate sayings. But I have kids so I have to just laugh at them on the internet for now! When you make one send me a photo so I can live vicariously. If you are looking for fabulous cross stitch patterns that don’t have bad words check THESE out.
If you are more of an embroiderer, THESE funny embroidery patterns might be for you!
Click the title or image to be taken to the pattern.
Funny Cross Stitch Patterns
I find these cross stitch patterns to be hilarious! I just love the juxtaposition of a beautiful technique with bad words. Maybe I still have the sense of humor of a middle schooler but I make no apologies for it! You have to tell me which of these funny cross stitch patterns is your favorite, leave me a comment in the comment section below.
Bitch Patterns
Resting B*tch Face
I think I totally have one of these! I just can’t help it. The scowl is permanently etched on my face.
Abracadabra B*tch
Ha! Have someone you need to send a nastygram to? This would be ideal! Ok I would never send a nastygram but I might send this to a friend since we know what we are!
Adios Bitchachos
Ha! Love this one!
Funny as F*CK Patterns
Rainbow F*ck Pattern
Y’all know I love a rainbow right? And this may be my favorite cuss word. This one looks like a ton of work but one that would totally be worth it in the end.
Fresh out of fucks
I ran out of these a long time ago!
F*ck Off Pattern
Can I put this on my door for solicitors? No I don’t want solar panels or to convert.
F*ck Housework
OMG YASSSS! I am the absolute worst at housework. I hate it with the fire of 1000 suns!
Running Out of f*cks
Please say it does count as cardio.
Because F*ck You
Hahaha need I say more?
Do all Things with Kindness
Yes be kind always!
F*ck Pattern
Ha! Don’t be offended. I told you this was my favorite curse word!
More fun patterns
Wtf?
This is so appropriate right about now!
Swearing will help
I mean, doesn’t it ALWAYS help?
Don’t P*ss Me Off
Seriously! I need to put this somewhere that my husband can see it all the time!
Nice Poop
Hang this one in your bathroom to give your guests a good chuckle! Make sure you have some Febreeze to go with it.
Shit Happens
Yes it certainly does.
Kinda Perverted Patterns
Every Hand You’ve Shaken
Ok you guys I totally debated not putting this one in but I couldn’t resist. This hits me right in my funny bone and I think it is freaking hilarious! I hope you take it that way too! I bet you had never thought about it this way had you?
Don’t be a prick!
Seriously, just don’t be one!
Anything can be a dildo…
How brave ARE you??
Blow Me!
Seems about right to me…
Great Tits
These birds are called…oh nevermind.
PIN Funny Cross Stitch Patterns that are Inappropriate
I hope you found this post to be lighthearted and fun. If not, I did warn you at the beginning to skip it! Will you use one of these cross stitch patterns? Share with me in the comments below.
Kelly says
Absolutely I would they are quite funny!!
Chris says
Love them all !! I may try to translate a few into other embroidery stitches, they are way too funny !
Trudy Glover says
BAHAAAAAHAAAAA!!! I just wish they came in embroidery patterns. I never did counted cross stitch- and have no desire to learn it- but LOVE to embroider. These are hilarious!
Karen says
I love you
Carrie Gebhard says
Lol love them !
Rachel says
You’re fuckin’ awesome!!!!! (That’s my favorite word too) I love your patterns!!!
Susan Drummond says
Hi
Have you seen a pattern for
Do something that would make a 1959s white man angry?
Diane says
Thank you for a much needed laugh during quarantine!
Jen says
So disappointed in you…just kiding ;). love these
Jen says
*kidding
Laurie says
HYSTERICAL! Thanks for sharing! I want them ALL!
Robin Murphy says
My favorite word too Alicia. It expresses so many moods; a million ways to use it. When you say it, everybody knows exactly how you feel, and rarely ask for explanations.